Speech by Federal Opposition leader Tony Abbott, MP, delivered at the Lansdowne Club Lunch, Sydney, on Thursday, March 17, 2011.

“Well ladies and gentlemen, thank you so much. Fittingly at this rugby-oriented dinner my only connection with Ireland is through sport. I was with the Sydney University rugby team and the lineout throw depended on the recognition of the letter ‘T’ at the start of the word called. ‘Tchaikovsky’, I called.

There was complete chaos in the lineout, complete chaos, and I think it was the Guinness that made me do it.

But ladies and gentlemen it is a real honour to attend this splendid feast honouring Saint Patrick and the contribution of Irish people and the Catholic faith to Australia.

I acknowledge my brother leader of the opposition Barry O’Farrell. I acknowledge the Premier and the Prime Minister, and it’s good to see the Prime Minister wearing green without any prompting from Bob Brown.

Last night in Adelaide the Prime Minister said of herself “I will put our nation first every time, no matter what the personal price. Faced with hurdles, I will always find a way through” and naturally I was reminded of our Catholic faith by this statement. She’s obviously drawn inspiration from Saint Julia, her ecclesiastical namesake.

The historians tell us that Saint Julia was a woman of faith who suffered defilement of the hair, flogging and crucifixion. But she never became a denier, she never became a denier of her Catholic faith that is.

And Saint Christina, the Premier’s ecclesiastical namesake, also did it tough. She was tortured, so the historians tell us, by iron hooks, grilling by fire, assaults by snakes and drowning tied to a millstone, which sounds easy enough compared with facing the wrath of voters here in New South Wales.

But ladies and gentlemen, I’m afraid my own ecclesiastical namesake, Saint Anthony Abbot, was a rich merchant who gave away all his worldly possessions to live on a desert mountain top, clad in skins and living on locusts and wild honey.

According to Saint Athanasius, the devil fought with Saint Anthony by afflicting him with boredom, laziness and fantasies of women, and I thought to myself this is what happens when you try to live with the lowest possible carbon footprint.

But turning now to the Leader of the Opposition, the other leader of the opposition. So far, I regret to say there has never been an acknowledged Saint Barry. Nowhere in the canon is there an acknowledged Saint Barry. But I can say this, Barry, canonisation awaits you, depending on the results of the 26^th of March.

Ladies and gentlemen, this is a marvellous day. It’s a marvellous opportunity, as I said, to celebrate the contribution of Ireland and its faith to our education, to our health, to our politics and to our culture.

I think we should all enjoy St Patrick’s Day, celebrate all things Irish. But there is one thing we must remember on a day such as this — work is the curse of the drinking classes.

Thank you so much.”

Read Prime Minister Julia Gillard’s speech to the Lansdowne Club HERE.